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Hey Pervs, Miley's Not Starring in R-Rated Movie Anytime Soon

Just about every week, there’s speculation on how Miley Cyrus will transition into adulthood. This week, MSNBC’s Scoop decided to go with a promiscuous role in an R-rated movie, where “you’d be seeing a lot more of Cyrus than what appeared in the Vanity Fair photos.” Ooh, naughty!

However, Miles called B.S. on this report in her own lovable way on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM morning show. The actress, who sometimes goes by Hannah Montana, said, “I’m not even allowed to see R-rated movies!”

Oh, Miley, so funny. In other words, “Yeah, FALSE!”

Now that we’ve got that mess settled, let’s talk about Miley’s big release today: Breakout.

She’s been quoted all over the place saying “It’s grown-up.”

It sucks that Miley thinks being grown-up is all about being sad over boys.

A good number of her songs are slow jams fit for that anxious moment at junior high dances where you really want that one boy to ask you for a dance and you’re all like, “Omigod, is he coming over here, oh, wait, no, he’s not. But he totally took a step over in this direction, he’s totally going to ask. The song’s like almost over, what’s going on? I’m prettier than that girl, right? It’s cool, it’s not like I wanted to dance anyway, you know. Where’s my teddy bear?! No one’s ever going to love me, I need a good cry.”

We were hoping for more songs for that other junior high moment–where you’re at a sleepover on a sugar high and choreographing dance routines while wearing your best friend’s old ridiculous dance costumes.

Not all is lost, however: The Jonas Brothers’ new album comes out in three weeks.